In the age of quick-fix diets and ever-changing beauty ideals, it’s easy to fall into the trap of harshly criticizing our bodies. Whether it’s the mirror that betrays us or social media that magnifies insecurities, many of us spend too much time focusing on what we perceive as “wrong” instead of celebrating what’s right.
This stops now.
Welcome to No-Negativity November, a month-long challenge my clients and I are participating in to ditch the self-criticism, embrace positivity, and start building a healthier, more loving relationship with your body. Think of it as the ultimate act of self-care.
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life or suddenly feel confident overnight. Instead, take small, actionable steps that add up to a monumental mindset shift. Ready to Build a Positive Relationship with Your Body? Let’s dive in.
The Importance of Building a Positive Relationship With Your Body - Especially in Midlife
Building a positive relationship with your body is crucial, especially as a midlife woman navigating the profound changes of perimenopause, menopause, and aging. These transitions can bring hormonal shifts, weight fluctuations, and changes in appearance that challenge how we view ourselves.
But midlife is also a time of incredible resilience and strength—a chance to honor your body for all it’s carried you through. By fostering self-compassion and respect, you can shift your focus from frustration to gratitude, embracing this phase as an opportunity to prioritize health, vitality, and joy over societal expectations. Your body deserves love, not criticism, and the more you nurture that relationship, the more empowered you’ll feel.
Step 1: Start the Day with a Kind Word for Your Body
Mornings often set the tone for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, many of us wake up and immediately zero in on negatives: the ache in your back, the reflection in the mirror that doesn’t meet your expectations, or the stress of your to-do list.
This November, let’s flip the script. Start your day with a kind word for your body.
Even if it feels awkward or silly, try saying one thing you appreciate about yourself. For example:
“I’m grateful for my legs that carry me through my busy life.”
“I love how my eyes light up when I laugh.”
“My skin protects me every single day, and I’m thankful for that.”
Why does this matter? Studies show that practicing positive self-affirmations can improve self-esteem and reduce stress. A study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that affirmations activate the brain's reward system, creating feelings of well-being and motivation.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Over time, these small moments of self-gratitude can rewire your brain to see your body as something worthy of love and respect—just as it is.
Step 2: Nourish Instead of Punish
Raise your hand if you’ve ever labeled food as “good” or “bad.” You’re not alone—diet culture has taught us to view eating as a moral act. Eat a salad? Good. Indulge in a brownie? Bad.
But here’s the truth: this mindset is destructive. It perpetuates a cycle of guilt, shame, and punishment. Let’s end that cycle by choosing to nourish instead of punish.
Food is not your enemy. It’s your ally. Every bite you take has the potential to support your energy levels, hormone health, gut microbiome, and overall well-being. Instead of focusing on restriction, shift your mindset to one of abundance and care.
For instance:
Support Hormone Health: Include healthy fats like avocados, nuts, and olive oil, which are essential for hormone production and balance.
Boost Digestion: Add high-fiber foods like vegetables, fruits, and whole grains to keep your gut happy.
Sustain Energy: Lean proteins, complex carbs, and colorful veggies provide lasting fuel to tackle your day.
Research supports this approach. A 2020 study in Nutrients found that a diet rich in whole, nutrient-dense foods improves mental well-being, reducing the likelihood of depressive symptoms often tied to body dissatisfaction.
By focusing on how food makes you feel—energized, strong, and nourished—you’ll start to see eating as an act of self-care rather than a chore.
Step 3: Practice Movement as a Form of Celebration
How many times have you exercised purely to “burn off” a meal or because you felt obligated to? While movement is vital for health, viewing it as punishment sucks the joy out of it.
This November, I challenge you to shift your perspective. What if exercise wasn’t about weight loss or punishment? What if it was about celebrating what your body can do?
Here’s how to make movement feel like a celebration:
Find What You Love: Hate the treadmill? Skip it! Try dancing, hiking, swimming, or a yoga class instead.
Focus on Strength: Celebrate your body’s resilience by lifting weights, mastering a new yoga pose, or simply walking further than you did yesterday.
Incorporate Play: Remember how fun it was to play tag or jump on a trampoline as a kid? Movement doesn’t need to be structured—let yourself enjoy playful activities.
Research backs the benefits of joyful movement. A study published in Psychology of Sport and Exercise found that people who exercised for enjoyment were more consistent and experienced greater mental health benefits than those who exercised solely for weight control.
When movement becomes something you look forward to rather than dread, it becomes a powerful tool for reducing stress and boosting self-confidence.
Step 4: Release Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy—and in the age of Instagram, it’s also the thief of body confidence. Scrolling through photos of perfectly toned influencers can leave us feeling inadequate, even though we know those images are often filtered, posed, and far from reality.
It’s time to release the grip of comparison.
Unfollow and Mute: Curate your social media feeds to include accounts that make you feel inspired, not insecure.
Celebrate Diversity: Seek out body-positive influencers who showcase the beauty of all shapes, sizes, and ages.
Focus on Your Journey: Your progress, your health, and your happiness are all that matter. Don’t let someone else’s highlight reel distract you from your own unique path.
One practical exercise is to practice gratitude journaling specifically for your body. Instead of writing general gratitude lists, focus on what your body has done for you that day—like carrying you through a workout, healing a cold, or even letting you enjoy a good laugh with friends.
The goal isn’t to compare your body to others but to appreciate it for exactly what it is: yours.
Step 5: Let Go of Perfection
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. While striving for improvement is admirable, expecting perfection sets you up for frustration, failure, and self-criticism. The truth? Perfect doesn’t exist.
This November, aim for progress over perfection.
Ditch All-or-Nothing Thinking: Missed a workout? That’s okay—go for a walk tomorrow. Ate a burger and fries? No biggie—enjoy a veggie-packed dinner later.
Celebrate Small Wins: Did you drink more water today? Did you move your body for 10 minutes? Did you say one kind word to yourself? These are all victories.
Embrace Setbacks: Slip-ups are a normal part of any journey. What matters is that you keep going.
A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review found that self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness instead of harsh criticism—leads to greater resilience and long-term success in health and wellness goals.
So, let go of the need to get everything “right” and focus on consistency and self-love.
Cultivate A Commitment to No-Negativity All Year Long...
This No-Negativity November, you have the chance to rewrite the story you tell yourself about your body. By starting the day with kindness, nourishing yourself with intention, celebrating movement, releasing comparison, and letting go of perfection, you’ll build the foundation for a positive, empowered relationship with your body.
Remember: this isn’t about achieving a flawless mindset overnight. It’s about taking small, manageable steps that add up to big changes over time. The goal isn’t just to survive November without negativity—it’s to carry this positivity into December and beyond.
So, are you in? Let’s make this No-Negativity November the start of something incredible: a lifelong journey of self-love, gratitude, and joy. Your body deserves it.
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